Newsletter Thoughts May 10, 2025

Dear Friends,

On this Mother’s Day weekend my original plan was to run a half marathon in Solvang. Instead, I’m at home with my leg elevated and recovering from surgery. Thankfully the recovery is going well… it’s just a bit hard to be so inactive.

This is the first Mother’s Day for my daughter and future daughter-in-law. How exciting for them to be able to celebrate new life in this way. That also makes it my first Mother’s Day as a grandmother. Fun.

I am also thinking about my own mother. She died in January 2021. Often when I preside at funerals, I say something like, “your loved one is dead, and at the same time they continue to live in your hearts.” She does indeed continue to live in my heart! I also encourage people to keep sharing memories. Being able to tell our stories, good or bad, is an important part of traveling through grief. I encourage you to tell your own stories, or to ask others about their loved ones.

Here's a story about my mom. Actually, it’s a bit of advice she gave me when my son was a newborn. He was colicky and pretty much cried from Thanksgiving to Christmas. I still remember how the inability to soothe this little guy was so stressful. In the midst of this my mom said,

“When you need a break from the crying, tell him that you love him while putting him in is crib. Say ‘mommy needs a little break’ and walk away for a few minutes. He’ll be ok.”

This turned out to be advice that has stayed with me. It’s good advice for any stressful situation, not just a crying baby. In the midst of conflict, taking a break allows us to calm our emotions while gaining perspective.

As I think back, some of my worse mistakes in dealing with people would have been avoided if I had remembered this advice. But making mistakes is part of learning.

I know that not everyone has good or helpful memories of their mothers. That makes this holiday painful. I pray for all who have complicated feelings this weekend. I also am available if you’d like to talk. Sometimes sharing the painful stories is also helpful.

Meanwhile, I will be praying for you all as you worship this weekend and I will see you on the 18th.

Peace,

Pastor Nancy